First Impressions Are Misleading
by Creek-IB-08
Summary: UPDATED! First impressions can be misguided.  If Nathan and I had let our first meeting determine where our relationship would lead, I wouldn't be here ... Chapter 12 Resurfacing is now here.
1. Welcome to Haven

First Impressions Are Misleading

A 'Haven' story

By: Amanda Croft

* * *

Spoilers: Basically all episodes in varying degrees. For the first three chapters potential spoliers for all three episodes. Anything after that can have spoilers for anything up until the episode with the same title of the chapter. Also, since each chapter is written the weekend the episode's aired, anything that diesn't really fit with later episodes is something you'll just have to live with, although I may fix it if it's a major diferance.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my interpretation of the characters' interactions and thoughts. Do I even really need to say that? Really?

* * *

Summary: First impressions can be misguided. If Nathan and I had let our first meeting determine where our relationship would lead, I wouldn't be here

* * *

**Welcome to Haven**

First impressions can be misleading. If Nathan and I had let our first meeting determine where our relationship would lead, I wouldn't be here with my head resting on his shoulder watching a meteor show now.

***Haven***

When I first met Nathan Wournos, I'll admit that I was a bit of a bitch. But in my defense, I had practically met my death by driving off a cliff, and to top it off, he pulled a gun on me! So no, I wasn't thinking clearly and I was pumped up on adrenaline and sarcasm is my fallback position. I have honed my sharp retorts and quick wit to an art form. Thankfully, for some reason Nathan decided to look past my hard exterior and give me a chance at a second impression.

I had to give him a chance at a second impression too. At our first encounter, he was not what I expected from a small town cop. He was a little jumpy when he saw my gun, but otherwise seemed almost indifferent. His particular brand of bland sarcasm was something I didn't appreciate until later when I'd had time to clear my head. Then, when I slammed the truck door on his fingers and he just shrugged it off as nothing, I figured he was just a wannabe "tough guy" jerk. Of course, when he offered to stay on the case with me even after the Chief said it was a waste of time, I had to reevaluate my opinion.

That first case we worked on together was an interesting one for two reasons. The first was the circumstances surrounding the case itself. The second was that Nathan and I kept stepping on each other's toes and insulting one another, generally unintentionally. Part of that, I think, has to do with the mindset bred into all FBI agents. After all, he was just some small town cop and I was an FBI agent, what could he possibly know about solving a murder that I didn't. Another factor was probably growing up in the orphanages. Growing up that way, I learned fairly quickly the power and protection garnered by keeping up my walls reinforced by the barbed-wire of sarcastic wit. The final factor, I'm sure, was Nathan reacting to my attitude. I mean really? "You speak monosyllable" really came out of _my_ mouth?

When I took the time to think about it later – standing where the picture of Lucy was taken deciding whether or not to stay around this crazy town awhile – I supposed it was a good thing he showed up when he did on that cliff, and his particular brand of bland sarcasm and quick wit was right up my alley and secretly impressed me.

First impressions can be just as misleading when you observe someone. It's funny how alike Nathan and I are, even if we seem totally different at first glance. Yeah there are the obvious differences like our gender and basic appearance as well as our backgrounds. Then there are the more subtle differences one would pick up on after briefly watching us. Nathan comes off as being really laid back, most of the time. On the other hand, among the nicer words to describe me I've heard 'tenacious' thrown around a bit. Then there is my obvious openness to anything … let's call it weird, versus Nathan's lack of belief in anything that doesn't have a logical explanation.

But like I said, the differences are almost entirely on the surface, which is obvious to the two of us, at least, after working together for nearly a year. We both have a strong pull towards the sarcastic, although I think I bring that part of him out in the open more. And try as he may to deny it, Nathan understands and believes in the weirdness more than most people I've met, even here in Haven. Sure, he tried to act like he didn't see how Maryanne affected the weather or how someone was using butterflies to do strange things around town. I think that was a kind of defense mechanism for him – denial about anything reminiscent of "The Troubles". That façade all but disappeared when he had to come cut me out of my blanket cocoon. True, he still tried to act like he didn't believe, but he was pretty quick to pull his gun on the Rev when that butterfly landed on his shoulder. As a matter of fact, I think he drew before I had even gotten the chance.

Add to that the fact that Nathan isn't nearly as laid back as he wants everyone to think –if you doubt me just watch him interact with Duke or the Rev. He's hiding a lot of pain and resentment as a result of his condition. He feels like an outsider, like no one could ever really understand him because he's too different. That's another area we are alike. I have felt like an outsider all of my life and I'm sure that I can be hard to relate too as a result of growing up how I did.

Still, as we worked together to get to the bottom of Lester's death and the mysterious weather, I found that I respected him and his work. And he in turn seemed to relax a little around me. It surprised me that he didn't just laugh outright or call me crazy when I told him what had happened when I went to talk to Conrad alone. His sole argument was how it would play out in court. That was my first indication that he was aware that something not normal was happening in the town, despite his affected nonchalance.

It was also surprising how quickly we seemed to form an actual _partnership_. By that second day we were already playing off of the other's thoughts and talking in sync, especially when shooting Duke down at the station. I have never had that kind of connection to _anyone_ before, and I've tried out other partners for months at a time.

Maybe not as surprisingly, by the end of the case, we seemed to find a place where we were almost friends. I say almost because at that point we had known each other a total of four days and both of us are reserved people – it takes a lot for us to open up to anyone. Nonetheless, I found myself telling him my childhood dreams and showing him the picture the Teagues brothers brought me. Instead of the pity I expected to see, in his eyes was a look of sympathy, quite understanding, and encouragement that struck me. We had certainly come a long way from our first impressions and we were only just beginning. And although neither of us said anything about it then, we both felt that this was far from over. We were bound to get closer than we had already become in such a short time. That was the biggest part of why I decided to stick around a while. I was connected to this place and this man and only time would tell me how and why.

***Haven***

I never expected that within the year I would find a real home, friends, a job that I love, answers about my past, and most importantly love. But there is more to Haven than meets the eyes and first impressions are almost always misleading in this quaint little town I found myself in.


	2. Butterfly

**Butterfly**

As we watch the sky light up in streaks of light overhead, my mind drifts back to the first time Nathan had mentioned the amazing sight. Feeling his hand sneak under the hem of my shirt to rest on my hip makes me shiver just a little and I give him a warning look. There are far too many people around for us to test his theory that a meteor show is better naked.

***Haven***

When Nathan came in the Chief's office the day after we had resolved the issues with Maryanne and found out that I was hanging around still, he was a little surprised, but not shocked, and he even seemed happy – although he tried to act nonchalant about the whole thing. And once again we were working together like we had been doing it for years and it was just … comfortable. We filled in each other's quirks or faults or whatever you want to call them – still do. Most of the time, I am more outgoing and impulsive; he thinks things through and provides the rational argument even when he's just playing Devil's advocate. Then there are times when our roles get reversed, especially when things or suspects hit too close to home for Nathan, and we slide into that new role as perfectly as our "normal" ones.

The first time I saw how intense the feelings were between Nathan and the Rev, was a little disconcerting for me. Granted I hadn't known him long, still it seemed so out of character. But all it took for him to shake his own personal dark cloud was a sly question on my part about him and the Rev's daughter, Hannah. Then I was seeing the prankster and cheeky kid he must have been before he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was nice to see him like that, and I promised myself then and there that I would bring the lighter side out more. That smile melted my heart.

And I still can't believe how lucky it was that I happened to be calling my new partner when the blanket decided that it was time for me to change from caterpillar to butterfly. If I try, I can still hear the worry in his voice, however muffled, over the phone as he switched from calling me "Parker" to "Audrey". And words can't describe how relieved I was when he rushed into my hotel room and started cutting the blanket away. I was so relieved, in fact, that it didn't even occur to me to be embarrassed by the fact that I was only in a towel under all of that yarn. I did find it a little funny, however, that he kept insisting I go to the doctor over it. He gets banged up, almost hit by a truck, and a minor concussion and the hospital is over rated, but I get wrapped up in one blanket for twenty minutes and it's suddenly important?

Thinking back now, our bond was stronger than one would expect back then. A couple of rational points or questions on my part and he was willing to abandon, ok not abandon but question, everything he thought he knew about people he's known his whole life. It took, what two questions to make him decide to look into Hannah's financials? And when I said I thought it was her, he agreed. That was definitely something new for me – someone taking my theories seriously over their own.

When the butterflies swarmed the cab of the truck as we were headed to the cabin, we both knew we were in for something incredibly dangerous, but I think we managed to deal with the situation well. When I first started talking to Bobby, Nathan looked at me like I was a little nuts, which is understandable since I gave him the same look when he honked the horn to wake the boy. And at first he was reluctant to play along, but eventually he got over it and started talking to Bobby too. Truthfully I was a little surprised when he actually followed my lead, but it worked so who really cares?

***Haven***

As Nathan quietly cracks a joke about Mr. Nelson a few feet away from us, I smile and remember that it was sometime during that case that I found Nathan has a great sense of humor. Granted, it is a bit dry and unless you actually pay attention to what he says you'd miss it, but he has amazing comedic timing. That is one of my favorite things about him – his slightly off the wall and completely unexpected humor.

***Haven***

After the case was solved and we helped Bobby and Hannah move, I found Nathan overlooking the water, and he looked so … lost and a little afraid, but just a little. When I told him I was thinking about staying around on a slightly more permanent basis, he seemed relieved almost. His face didn't really change, but there was something in his eyes, like he felt better knowing that I was going to be there to help him deal with what was happening to his town. Then he told me about The Troubles and how he was connected to them. He also confessed, probably for the first time aloud, that he was afraid they wouldn't go away this time. And I couldn't explain it, still can't, but I felt connected to it all and knew that I wouldn't be able to leave for long even had I been inclined to. I was tied to this place and this man, maybe to help settle The Troubles, maybe because this was the home I never knew, and now I'm starting to think it might just have something to do with being in love with the man beside me. Regardless, my answers were here and I wasn't leaving until I got them. Then he lightened the mood in the blink of an eye and we were on settled ground again as we left in search of pancakes.

***Haven***

As the sky clears and the moon once again becomes the brightest source of light, I hold him just a little closer reluctant to move from this spot. Hearing him stifle a yawn, I know we need to get going or he'll just fall asleep where we lay. Getting to my feet, I try to get him up too, but when he stubbornly refuses I pull out the best weapon in my arsenal. Walking away I call over my shoulder my offer of pancakes and he's by my side almost before the word has left my lips. It really is adorable how predictable he can be.


	3. Harmony

**Harmony**

Another day, another strangely entertaining call. True, I like it when we get the weird ones, but at the same time I don't. They are always a fun challenge to figure out, but every single one of them is a not so subtle reminder that The Troubles are far from over with no discernable end in sight which is something that bothers Nathan a lot more than me. Then again, as much as Haven is quickly becoming my home, it _is _Nathan's and he has lived through them before; even if he claims not to really remember much more than whispers from those years. I am brought out of my musing by Nathan making a snide remark about me getting better at dealing with Mrs. Eddy – the drunken cat lady. It's not the kind of thing that a person would expect when they first meet Nathan. For that matter, people who have known him a long time, but not well, wouldn't necessarily expect it from him either.

***Haven***

I first discovered this side of the man I now called my partner about a week after we had truly become friends over his confession and shared pancakes. He is the type that likes to store up stories to throw back in your face and have a good laugh over. He doesn't do it in a mean way, it is always in good fun, but it's not something I had anticipated coming from the straight-laced cop. The day I first learned about the Freddy, he was teasing me about the drunken cat lady earlier that day and still harping on the pant-less fisherman from several days before. Somehow it drew me to him even more that he was willing to relax and lighten up with me.

Becoming friends also seemed to strengthen our already strong partnership. The case with Bobby and Hannah showed that he was willing to follow my lead occasionally, but he seemed far less reluctant to blindly follow afterwards. Using the ether to subdue the doc was evidence of that. On top of that, we had developed a silent language all our own that allowed us to communicate questions and plans, warnings and disagreements with only a look. The first time it happened, chills literally ran down my spine. As I've said, there is a connection between the two of us that is unlike anything I had ever experienced before or since.

Later when I showed up with the doc at the Shiny Scupper and found Nathan burning himself with that lighter, I almost cried. There was a haunted look in his blood shot eyes that I had never seen before and prayed I never would again. It broke my heart that Nathan was affected by whatever it was that was going around and there was nothing that I could really do to help other than try to find him and the cause for the outbreak. That in turn scared me, because if it broke my heart, that meant he had managed to make his way through the walls surrounding it in less than a month!

I guess I should have known that he would go after Duke. I mean it's not like the dislike on either side is even something they try to hide from the world, and both were more than happy to bring it up with me in order to tip the scales in their own favor. When I showed up and the man who had somehow gotten to my heart was choking Duke, I kind of panicked and tasered him. I felt so bad, because although I knew he couldn't really feel it and in the long run it was nicer than some other methods I could have used to subdue him, it felt almost like a betrayal of trust to do that to my own partner. I was apologizing before I even reached him. And then I had to leave him with Duke, which felt like another betrayal, but what choice did I have? It's not like I could take him with me in the state he was in.

When he came back to himself, I could see that not knowing what he had done in the two hours that he was gone disturbed him, almost like he was afraid of what he had done once he lost his tightly held control over his emotions. But, fortunately he didn't seem bothered by the fact that I had tasered him or that I left him chained up with his worst enemy. As I told him my theory about Lily's music and he disagreed, I was afraid he was starting to resist the weirdness again, but he just gave me a half smile and explained the part of my theory that was wrong – the _who_ not the what or how.

After I watched the Caprice sail away and it finally sank in that I might actually have just learned my mother's name, there was only one person I needed to tell – Nathan. And he didn't disappoint. When I told him, this smile lit up his face, and I could tell that he was almost as excited as I was that I had my first solid lead to my past and my family. While he told me I'd maybe fix him someday with that stupid little half smile on his face, my brain and heart simultaneously stuttered to a halt. Was he implying something, or just making an offhand comment to lighten the mood? If he was implying something, then what? Did he like me? Did he think he needed to be fixed? Did he want me to fix him? And if so, in what way? Somehow, I was able to force something along the lines of that being impossible out past the sudden lump in my throat, hopefully jokingly, but I'll never know exactly what I said. My brain was still circling around questions that had no answers and could not or would not let themselves be asked to the one person who could provide them. All of this on top of finally, potentially, finding out my mother's name and the fact that she was in Haven for longer than it took to take that picture, and my sudden awareness that I was feeling something more than 'friendly' towards the man in question. When the call came in about missing patients at the Freddy, I was still too caught up in my own head to go, but there would be plenty more fun to be had another day, when I could actually focus.


	4. Consumed

**Consumed**

"Audrey, come on. You look great in anything, just throw something on or we're gonna be late!" Nathan's voice echoes down the hall and I smile to myself as I continue rifling through my closet looking for the perfect thing to wear to dinner. Despite his apparent exasperation now, I know that tonight is important to him and I want to look my best. Besides, it's fun to see just how long he'll wait before he becomes truly whiney, it's something I don't get to experience very often. And to an extent I can understand his frustration. I am not the most fashion conscious person around – it's not that I don't care what I look like, but I generally hate all the 'girly' things that go along with taking hours to get ready; I'm more of a wash and wear kinda gal.

Quickly flipping past several dresses, one catches my eye and I consider it carefully for a minute or two. It's the first dress I bought here for the first real social event I ever attended in Haven. With a decisive nod, I pull the little blue, almost black, dress from the hanger and start to put it on.

***Haven***

I can still clearly picture the day I bought it. I'm _not_ a shopper and I never have been, so trying to find a dress that was better than "_nice_" was not something I really had the time or patience for. So, imagine my surprise when the Teagues brothers walked in and started giving me fashion advice – and I actually took it! If anyone else had been in the store, I'm sure all kinds of rumors about me would have been spread around town before I settled on a dress. But really, I had fun – a lot of fun, especially when they had to search through their extensive writers' vocabulary to describe what was wrong with each dress – and it turned out to be just what I needed to get my mind off the case for a short while. Part of the problem in picking the dress was my generally conservative nature when it comes to what I wear, and part was the fact that I was going on a date with Nathan. Ok, so it wasn't really a date … it was dinner where we were trying to find the source of the mysteriously rotting food connected to the Second Chance Bistro, but the butterflies in my stomach and my slightly lightheaded feeling made it _seem_ like a date.

***Haven***

Walking out into the living room, the look on Nathan's face is identical to the one that he wore the first time he saw me in this dress, and it's so darn cute. His mouth is just slightly open, like he has a word on the tip of his tongue, and his eyes are opened just the slightest bit wider than normal, and there is such a swirl of emotions in those blue pools that my heart bungee-jumps between my throat and my toes. Then slowly, like he's waking up, a smile starts tugging at the corners of his mouth and those piercing blue eyes take the time to thoroughly study me up and down, and, like the first time, I feel a distinct blush spreading outward from the back of my neck. Granted it's not exactly the kind of dress you would normally wear to dinner with your boyfriend's father who happens to be your boss, but that reaction is _so_ worth it.

"What? Does this not make me look "local" enough? Maybe I should get my plaid shirt and furry boots," I tease as I start back to the bedroom. Laughing, Nathan quickly grabs my arm muttering something about being ridiculous and steers us both out to his truck.

***Haven***

As we drive across town to the Chief's house, I let my mind drift back to the week of our first "date". It started out normally enough as a short trip to the farmer's market, but of course normal is over rated and often doesn't last long around here. Out of nowhere food at several different booths rotted simultaneously and believe it or not my first thought was not of The Troubles. My mind, along with Nathan's, first went to completely normal causes– biological agent, fungus, chemicals, disease. As we started investigating though, I knew it had to be something a little less "normal". None of our original theories would have affected only one coup of chickens, one plot of trees, or one crib of corn out of several, especially when the prelim tox report came back as stomach acid. And speaking of the chickens, despite my amusement at Nathan's discomfort when the chicken lady started hitting on him, there was also a twinge of something I refused to think about but suspected might have been jealousy.

Jealousy … that is an emotion that plagued the both of us plenty before we finally got together, but especially started manifesting itself during that case. For the first time, I really noticed that Nathan was jealous of Duke where it came to me. The first instance was when Duke showed up as we were questioning the McShaw brothers at their restaurant. Of course when Duke showed up he started flirting with me. With the look on Nathan's face it was hard to misread his thoughts on the matter and I fought hard to keep the blush from my face and the butterflies from my stomach. That feeling was only intensified as he put his hand on my back to rush me to the cover of his truck – stupidly I got the image of him in shining armor as I swooned "My hero!," it was almost enough to make me burst into laughter and seriously question my sanity.

Later at the Bistro's opening when Duke decided to crash our table, I felt an irrational compulsion to push him off the chair. If anything could ruin the "date" – because my mind refused to call it anything else – it would be Duke. On the best of days the two men rub each other wrong from across the room, but Duke shamelessly flirting with me while I'm sitting across the table from Nathan in a nice restaurant would be sure to be disastrous. Fortunately Duke wasn't in the mood to upset Nathan too much and quickly left to harass someone else. After that it would have been a great date … if not for the salmon rotting and all the people getting sick to remind us that we were in fact working and _not_ on a date.

***Haven***

Pulling into the Chief's driveway, Nathan takes a deep calming breath and smiles over at me ruefully. Running my fingers through his hair I assure him that tonight will go fine; that despite their less than close relationship we'll have a good time. In response, he looks at me like he thinks I've completely lost my mind, and I laugh because it is so seldom that he does. Even when I'm telling him my theories about who is responsible for whatever weird event has just occurred, he doesn't question my sanity, but he did when I started yelling at Bill McShaw for killing his brother Jeff. And he's giving me that same look now as I try to convince him he can have a civil meal with his father.

Half way through dinner, we manage to run out of small talk and anything work related so an awkward silence falls over the table. Maybe I _was_ a little crazy to suggest this dinner would be _fun_. I guess Nathan figures now is as good a time as any, because out of nowhere I hear him say, "So Audrey and I have something to tell you." For a moment all I can do is look at him with shocked disbelief on my face, I'm sure. But, just like in the Bistro with Katerina, the shock is quickly replaced by instinct and I am following his lead, playing off of almost imperceptible cues Nathan gives me. I must say we make a pretty good team, what with our silent conversations and invisible prompting. So taking a deep breath and turning to face the Chief, I put a smile, that isn't entirely fake, on my face and share our news. "I officially resigned from the FBI yesterday and I am moving in with Nathan this weekend." Glancing over to Nathan, I notice that we are both holding our breath – why, I'm not sure. I mean it's not like the Chief can say anything that would affect either decision, but still we wait with bated breath.

After a long pause, that is somehow more awkward than the one before the announcement, the Chief's simple response is, "I guess that means you'll be sticking around a while longer."

Releasing a breath in tandem with the man across from me, the smile on my face becomes more genuine as I say, "Yeah, I guess I will be."


	5. Ball and Chain

**Ball and Chain**

Sitting on the edge of the tub, I can't help but ask how in the world this happened. I mean, I _know_ how it happened, but how – not that it would be a _bad_ thing, you know, it's just _way_ too soon. Nathan and I are just moved – are moving – are half moved in together and the next free weekend we get, we're going down to DC to pack up the rest of my stuff and we will be moved in together. On top of that, we've only know each other about a year and the first four months of that we weren't even dating. So how did things spin out of control so very quickly? I am a very practical girl, and it's not like me to take chances.

Glancing at my watch, I groan and close my eyes because time is moving far too slowly for my taste. Maybe it's a Haven thing, maybe I have somehow fallen into a time warp. Shaking off the thought, I try distracting myself with thoughts of Nathan. Smiling, I remember the first time I ever saw Nathan with a baby.

*****HAVEN*****

We were at the docks where the Teagues brothers had just found a dead body, and when he turned around, Beattie was standing there with her son. After a brief moment of shock on his part, he was ooing and ahhing and babbling to the little boy like a complete moron and it made something in me ache. He looked so natural with a baby in his arms and for a brief moment, it wasn't the harbor master's baby but his and mine in his arms which shook me to the core. Sure, I liked Nathan and was sometimes jealous and even turned down Duke in favor of Nathan most times, but no way was I picturing kids with him! So, as I was trying to regain my mental balance, I fell back on my best friend – sarcasm. I teased him and told him to hand the baby over and turn back into a cop hoping that he wouldn't see the longing in my eyes as I too looked at little Bennie.

In fact, seeing Nathan with that baby threw me so much that I somehow let myself get roped into a dinner date with Duke. At the time I told myself that it was just to get him off my back, but there were other ways I could have done that. For instance when he accused me of needing to learn how to relax and do something besides work, I could have honestly told him that I already did most evenings; Nathan made me leave the office when he did so we could eat dinner together and just hang out. I could have told him that I wasn't interested in him like that and didn't really want to go on a date with him. But my head was overcompensating for the little day dream I'd had earlier, so I reluctantly agreed.

*****HAVEN*****

Looking at my watch again, I resist the urge to scream, I still have to wait two more minutes. When I had decided that I was going to take the stupid test this morning, I was glad that Nathan had plans to go golfing. That way I would have time to deal with my own freak out one way or the other before having to drop the "maybe baby" bomb on him. Now I just wish he was sitting here with me to calm me down. If I focus, I can almost picture how calm he would be outwardly. He would have the same expression he has on his face when he's reading a report from the lab and he would be almost perfectly still. The only outward signs of excitement or fear or uncertainty or the other hundred emotions he will feel would be in his eyes and the gentle sweep of his thumb across the back of my hand. I could really use some Nathan calm right now. Unfortunately, he turns off his phone on the green and I'm still not sure I want him here before I know anyways.

"Ok, Audrey. It's not that hard, just think about something else. Think about … about … the 'Helena' case. Yeah that'll work, just think about that,"

*****HAVEN*****

Where was I? Oh yeah, Saturday morning. I can still hear the barely hidden jealousy in Nathan's voice as he talked about being at what he called "my party". I couldn't tell him that I had agreed to let Duke make me dinner Friday night, so I diverted back to the research he had gotten done in my absence. Falling into our comfortable banter, I told him that checking into the lobster gear was a good idea while waiting for him to be his gentlemanly self and open the door to the tattoo parlor for me.

By Monday we had a second victim and a couple of leads and I was so busy, I forgot about the dinner altogether. Friday morning, as Nathan and I staked out the boat shop for 'green truck guy', I was finally feeling on level footing again. I had managed to get the "my future family" pictures out of my head and focus on the puzzle that was our latest case. Nathan and I had spent three hours in Camden in a mostly comfortable silence as we waited and it was nice to not have to talk. Then Duke had to call and 'green truck guy' showed up and my peaceful happy place that consisted of coffee and Nathan disappeared. When 'green truck guy', James Wordell, got out of his truck, and Nathan waved to him with his badge I had to bite back a groan. I had been cooped up in that truck _way_ too long to go chasing after this idiot. Fortunately for me, Nathan has this amazing way with people. As he went to take off, all my partner had to say was "Please, don't make me chase you," and the guy actually listened. No way would that ever work for me.

When we, well I, got the call from Duke about his 'situation' my heart actually broke a little. It's not that I had feelings for him or anything, but he was a friend and I couldn't help blaming myself for standing him up. I almost forget that Duke and Nathan were once best friends, but there are times like that case that remind me they haven't always hated each other. I saw the same hurt I was feeling at the potential loss reflected in Nathan's emotion full eyes for the briefest instant. He was genuinely worried and sad and it made me wonder what it was that had happened to drive them apart so completely. That thought had to wait though, because we were definitely on the clock now and it was suddenly personal.

Finally having figured out at least the_who_ and _where_ of the mysterious Helena, I was reminded of yet another aspect of this man. While I was banging away at the lighthouse door desperately calling for Beattie to open up, Nathan – my usually stoic, laid back partner – kicked the door in with one well placed foot and absolutely no warning. To be completely honest it both scared and excited me a little bit. Once inside, we found the unbelievable _how_ of the case, and while I couldn't process it fully at the time, it was weird that Duke was going to have a baby in a matter of hours, that is if he wasn't dead by then. After the baby was born, and we figured out proximity to the baby would just make Duke worse, I held little baby Jean until the ambulance arrived for Duke. Looking down into her angelic face, I found myself once again longing for one of my own in a way I never had before. That feeling was only intensified as I watched Nathan holding and cooing to her a short while later. In that instance, my mental picture was so clear – a family with Nathan Wournos, two or three kids – that I felt tears welling in the back of my eyes while I fought frantically to push both the image and tears away.

*****HAVEN*****

Which brings me back to why I am sitting on the edge of my bathtub, thinking about this case, in the first place. Looking once again at my watch, I let out a deep breath. It's time. All I have to do is stand up and take three steps to the counter and I'll know if that 'future family' is closer than I ever expected. Suddenly, I need Nathan here for more than moral support and his calming presence. With closed eyes, I brace my hands on either side of the little white stick and hold my breath trying to work up the nerve to see how much my life has just changed. Counting to three, I force my eyes open, and I can't help the unexpectedly heartbreaking disappointment at the negative test. I should be happy, right? This is what I wanted, isn't it? Nathan and I aren't ready for a baby right now. In the future, yes definitely, but not right now. So why do I feel so crushed? A false alarm should be good news.

When Nathan walks in the front door, he finds me on the couch crying – not sobbing, not drowning in tears – just a slow steady flow of tears that I cannot force to stop, and believe me I've tried. He's at my side in an instant, holding me in his arms and rubbing soothing circles on my back to calm me. From where my face is pressed against his chest, I can feel his heart beating wildly and I know I must be scaring him half to death. Audrey Parker is not the kind of woman who cries! To his credit though, he doesn't ask; just holds me making little comforting shhing noises. Finally I find my voice, it's wobbly and soft but it is my voice, and manage a half whispered, "I'm not pregnant." Now I know he's confused, because he's pulled away some to look at my face. I know he heard me, what with his enhanced four existing senses, but I'm not sure he understands what he heard, so I take a deep breath and repeat more clearly, "I'm not pregnant."

"Ooook. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he hesitantly asks and he's so adorable when he's trying to figure me out I smile a little.

"Both?" I offer just as hesitantly, but being a man of few words, he conveys his confusion with a look instead of further questions, so I explain. "I mean, it's good because we are _so not _ready for a baby. You know? We just moved in together and we haven't even been dating a year and I just quit the FBI and we can't have a baby right now, right? But at the same time, apparently it's bad because I am balling on the sofa because some stupid white stick had one lines instead of two and I want to have a _real_ family. I _want_ to have a family with you and spend the rest of my life being that crazy in love couple with the brilliant kids and … and … and I didn't … I'm not … I'm …" mercifully my rambling comes to a stop and he seems to have followed most of the flood of words.

I sit quietly watching his face as he sorts all of the information I have given him and see when the true cause for this whole mess registers. With a slight upturn of his lips he asks, "You thought you were pregnant?" At my nod several emotions flicker in quick succession in his eyes. Finally his next words come to him, "And you took a test that said you're not," a statement, not a question. Again I nod. "And you didn't tell me?"

Now I have to find words again. Looking down at my lap I answer quietly, "I was going to tell you – as a matter of fact I just did – I just wanted to know the answer first. I needed to know what I was feeling about it before I told you, because if I was and you were on cloud nine but I freaked … I just needed to know first."

Pulling me back into his embrace, he places a loving kiss to the crown of my head and all is quiet save for my occasional sniffle. Eventually he breaks the silence that has settled. "You're right, we're not ready, but it will be great when we are won't it?" he asks with a dreamy quality to his voice and I curl up more comfortably into his side picturing 'our future family' with the man I love.


	6. Fur

Authur's Note: This one doesn't focus on the episode or Audrey/Nathan's relationship as much as the other chapters, but for some reason when I went to write this chapter, my muse insisted on focusing on Audrey's struggle with keeping the secrets of Haven ... well secret. There is a little Audrey/Natan fluff at the end though.

***Haven***

**Fur**

Nathan and I have just finished another interesting case involving the Troubles. It's always like a puzzle trying to figure out the rules of each 'curse' and that's the best part about these cases. Nathan and I are constantly throwing out theories and outrageous possibilities – and it's fun. Part of the reason that I find it so fun is that these kinds of cases give Nathan the chance to be a little goofy with his ideas. Just look at the hunt club 'werewolf' case. He was throwing out jokes about the possibility of werewolves (not entirely in jest) in one breath and throwing out the possibility of a witch or "evil Dr. Dolittle" the next. It's also intriguing to figure out the rules behind the problem. What are the triggers and how exactly does something work? How can the problem be contained or avoided? Then, when we finally figure out who and how, technically the case is 'solved', but our work is really only half over.

Sitting at my desk writing up my closing report, I am once again faced with the downside of cases involving The Troubles. Sure they are challenging and even fun sometimes in a kind of twisted way, but when the case has been 'solved' and it's time to write up the report, the tragedy of Haven always hits me. And the tragedy is not The Troubles, but the secrets perpetuated in the town and by its people. Haven is full of secrets and mystery and never ending frustration – though maybe the last is only on my part. I'm sure part of what I find so distasteful about the secret nature of Haven has to do with my own mystery that I still haven't been able to unearth after a year here. I know every family has secrets, but the secrets kept from and about the families here are so much worse and just keep the Troubles going.

Looking again to my computer screen I am faced with what now seem to be age old questions. If there's one thing that I've learned here it's that the Troubles run in families and are worsened by stress of some sort (though the stressor varies from person to person). Which brings me to question number one: **How much of the truth is it safe to tell the afflicted one and their family?** I mean, they have to know some if they are to keep history from repeating itself and keep their own personal family troubles at bay in future generations. Time and again, the people responsible for what has happened were warned by family members to be careful or avoid something but were given no explanation. That is the root of the Troubles coming back, in my opinion. Look at Maryanne, Beattie, Pieper, and Ray all could have prevented the affects of what happened had someone been honest with them and told them all the facts about their family history and the potential danger inherent in their genetics. But by the same token, I have been responsible for keeping the secrets of several families' pasts from surviving family members in an effort to protect them from themselves.

A prime example is the case about the hunt club 'werewolf'. After finding out the cause of the stuffed animals coming back to life to exact vengeance, and seeing the scene of Pieper's death I made the decision to keep the secret of what Landon Taylor's family had been doing for generations from him to save him from being tempted to follow in their footsteps. If he knew the whole truth and something were to happen to Zach, could he decide not to continue the tradition? Or would the temptation be too much? The decision to keep things secret is a decision I'm sure has been made time and time again by others, sometimes within the families sometimes not, for the supposed good of others. I'm also almost certain that as long as people keep choosing to hide the truth the Troubles will always come back.

Putting aside that issue for now and focusing back on the particulars of this latest case brings up question number two. **What do we do to justly deal with people who have unknowingly caused so much damage and possibly even death?** It's not anyone's fault really that people cause such damage when they don't know what they are capable of so jail is really out of the question but they can't just be ignored either. In a few instances, like Ray, the afflicted person could leave, isolate themselves, and avoid hurting others. In some, like Maryanne, Bobby and Bill McShaw, when they find the root of the problem they can take active steps to avoid triggering potentially damaging events. In others, such as Beattie and Pieper, serious action has to be taken to remove them from possibly hurting others. Regardless, most people in Haven have a Trouble of their own and we can't just lock everyone up. So once again it hits me that the Troubles will never really be gone from here because the people are still here and the next trouble is just waiting to flare up. The longer I'm here the more I think Nathan was right to be afraid that the Troubles won't go away this time.

The biggest, most frustrating question though is what really bothers me when it comes time to write up the report. **How in the world do I explain this away as something not quite so supernatural?** As Nathan and the Chief have each pointed out in their own ways, we can't just tell the truth, because what good would that do for anyone? In most cases, the truth would only bring heartache and problems for everyone in the town and would cause more problems than we already have to contend with. Fear would spread and people would be ostracized because of what they can do. That in turn would be sure to cause stress, which would cause symptoms to flare. In the end, making everything public would cause this town that has become my home to implode – self destruct – and I can't live with that. So while we occasionally use the truth in an investigation – telling suspects about the Troubles to get them to see what they are doing – in the official report we have to edit the truth. In the end, I'm just contributing more secrets in this lovely little town.

***Haven***

On particularly complicated cases like the one we just finished, as I'm writing up my report, I have to fight the urge to call a meeting to work out the 'public version of the truth'. The Chief, Nathan and I would obviously be there as would Eleanor because our reports have to match up as the detectives and medical examiner. Then there would be Vince and Dave Teagues because they write the story, the version that everyone will come to think of as the truth, and it should really match whatever 'white lie' we come up with. Somehow, we all manage to accomplish fabricating the same story without an official meeting, but it doesn't happen without some kind of collaboration. Just as the thought pops up into my head, I see an email from Eleanor telling me what she 'saw' when doing her examinations. I have to say, she's really good at making the weird into extraneous information gathered with a legitimate explanation. Then again, she's not new at this because she was here twenty years ago when this last was a problem.

Coming up with 'a legitimate explanation' is something that the Teagues brother and Chief have been doing for a long time too, as all three have told me time and time again. After Dave was attacked by his stuffed bear and I mentioned needing to talk about what they would write, he and Vince said they'd come up with something – they always did. Then Chief lectured me about the stuffed moose that had attacked us and how we would handle it. He was quick to point out that he had been dealing with the Troubles long before I stumbled upon them and that Nathan would be dealing with them after the Chief was gone. He then pointed out my role – opening Nathan up to the possibilities he needs to see to solve these cases.

It still makes me furious that he refuses to see how great his son is at what he does. Nathan is a fantastic cop whether he's investigating your average run of the mill crime, or something Trouble related. He has great instincts and follows them despite what anyone else thinks, and he doesn't fall victim to tunnel vision either. Sure, he might originally pin someone as the prime suspect or rule them out as one, but when evidence comes up to contradict what he thinks, he accepts that line of investigation and follows it through. For example, when the Rev was attacked in the butterfly case, he reluctantly agreed that he couldn't be responsible. Then there was Jess Minion. Nathan was smittened by Jess and decided that she couldn't be responsible for the events taking place with the animal attacks, and yet when evidence came up that pointed a potential finger in her directions, he went and questioned her again. Granted, when she was cleared and the case was over he went on a date or two with her, but we're not going to go there because he is with me now and going into a jealous tailspin over a girl he once dated isn't going to get this report done any faster. Sensing Nathan's presence before he even comes into our office, I look up and give him a rueful smile.

"Having trouble taking out the weird again?" he questions with a slight grin. Sometimes I swear he knows me just a little too well.

"How do we make this something believable, Nathan? How do you propose we explain this one away? I swear this is the hardest part of these cases!" I huff.

Walking over to rub the tension out of my shoulders, he simply hums in thought. After several minutes of comfortable quiet and significantly looser shoulders he finally says, "Well, what did Eleanor say?"

"Truthfully, I haven't even looked yet," I admit with a breathy laugh.

"You should probably do that then, because the Chief just came in and we have to talk him into giving us the weekend off."

"Maybe you should call him 'dad' for this one. I mean it is a personal issue after all."

"I'm asking him for time off, so he's my boss. He seems to be in a fairly good mood though, so we should ask him before something else comes up. If you were to have the report finished when we go in there, that might help too," he adds jokingly.

"You make the Chief sound completely unreasonable. He's really not that bad, most of the time," I defend, but have a hard time keeping a straight face as I say it.

"No," and the smile on his face is deceptively innocent, "he just happens to actually like you. I think as far as he's concerned, you are the best decision I made since joining HPD."

"Well, if you would help me out with this report real quick, we could go ask him and get on the road. We should make it at least south of Boston before we stop for the night. That'll put us in DC by late tomorrow morning and give us the rest of the day to pack up my stuff. If we leave early Sunday morning, we should even be able to get home at a reasonable time to wake up for work Monday."

"Fine, I'll help you with the report, just move your hands," he grouses as he swats my hands away and types up the report while leaning hunched over the back of my chair.


	7. Sketchy

**Sketchy**

The first part of our trip to DC is spent decompressing, talking about nothing and anything except our most recently solved case – the case that still has me in an emotional quagmire about lies in this town. Once we get some space from it, I know Nathan and I will have to talk about it so that I can regain my emotional balance, but now is just too soon. As we pass Jess Minion on our way out of town she gives me a slightly dirty look which really isn't fair. I mean, I get the jealousy thing. Heck, I even felt it while the two of them were dating, but it's not like I'm rubbing it in her face the way she did with me.

***Haven***

Sitting there I couldn't be still and listen to her pathetically obtuse way of flirting with my Nathan – partner, my _partner_. Really, filing a false police report about a giant sling-shot carrying, goatee wearing, tattooed prowler was the best plan she could come up with? _Really_? To make matters worse, Nathan didn't seem to get what she was doing. Finally it got too ridiculous for me to stay quiet, so I interrupted with my special brand of sarcasm to hopefully speed the process along. When that didn't work, I somehow found myself making a date with her on Nathan's behalf – don't ask me how that happened because I still have no idea. To my chagrin, he still didn't seem to grasp what was going on, but he really was adorable all flustered and answering the phone "Nathan PD". Unfortunately I couldn't seem to let the incident, aka his relationship with Jess, go which put both of us in a mood and at odds with each other on what turned out to be one of the toughest cases I have ever had. Thank goodness I had Eleanor to lean on, because without Nathan, if I hadn't had her I don't know that I would have survived that case.

***Haven***

Shaking my head slightly, I focus back in on my current surroundings. We are now about a half an hour outside of Haven and the cab of the truck is silent save for the mixed sounds of Nathan's and my breathing. It's nice how comfortable our relationship is. We don't have to talk just to fill the silence – which is probably a good thing given Nathan's taciturn personality. We are in the mountains and Nathan is focusing on the twisting road ahead of us, so I lean my head against my window and let my mind wander as the scenery flies by. Naturally the first thoughts to pop into my mind are of the case we just solved and how worried Nathan was when I took over the interrogation of our initial suspect. I could hear the barely suppressed nervousness in his voice when he called my name in what was supposed to be a warning tone to reign me in. I think that is his biggest pet peeve, my tendency to play 'bad cop' and attack potentially dangerous suspects. If they were just your normal, run of the mill murderers or thugs I don't think it would bother him as much. But the greater number of our suspects are "troubled", and often when we interrogate our first suspect we haven't figured out all, if any, of the rules of their particular 'curse'. There is also always the possibility that the person may not be the one we're after, but is still "troubled" in an as-of-yet unidentified manner. So, I guess he has a justifiable reason to worry, but I can't help myself. Besides, it's not like he doesn't give me reason to worry when he runs into a dangerous situation figuring since he can't feel it, he can't really get hurt that badly. Forcefully shifting my mental gears away from worrying about Nathan, I find myself thinking about the "sketch" case.

***Haven***

When we first questioned Alec as a potential suspect and not just a witness, I once again played the hard ass cop trying to trigger a response from him. Out of my peripheral vision I could see Nathan tense up and subtly reach for his gun as I raised my voice, but that didn't stop me. Neither did his voice when he tried to call me off less than a minute later. When Alec got mad and finally yelled back and nothing happened, I heard Nathan audibly breathe out in relief and honestly I was a little relieved too despite my flippant apology. Most of the time, when I start trying to provoke suspects, the self-preservation part of my brain shuts off. When Nathan let his tension and worry out by practically yelling at me, I just brushed it off as nothing and tried to focus back in on the case, but this weird dynamic between us wore on me more than I let on. The ride to Mary's art supply store was filled with a silence that was unusually tense and charged. Even once we were in the store after I found out about his secret artistic side, decoupage to be exact, and used it and a teasing tone to try to lighten the weight suffocating me, he just brushed the attempt aside.

Thinking back, the strain on our relationship during that case is probably half of what made it so hard on me. I'm not the type to make a lot of real friends or get close to people – another lovely side effect of growing up in foster care – but I had quickly felt a connection with Nathan, so when that connection was threatened it really threw me for a loop. To top that off, I was starting to wallow in some pretty significant self doubt. And once again I have to say thank God for Eleanor. The more I get to know her, the more she becomes my role model for dealing with the Troubles. To this day her comment of, "I can always laugh. How else does one make it through a winter in Haven, Maine?" is the best piece of advice I have gotten on how to deal with the messes I often find myself in. While Nathan and my partnership seemed to be falling around my feet, and we were both being buried alive by self doubts, Eleanor was the one to pull me to the surface. She knew I was just blowing off steam when I wondered why I couldn't seem to leave Haven even before I realized it. All it took was a couple of patient questions and I was back on my feet ready to take on the world again – just in time to pick Nathan up and put him back on his. Honestly I wasn't eavesdropping, I just couldn't help but overhear Nathan's soul crushing speech to Jess as he sent her away. Just between you and me, I almost wished that he meant the words for me and not her, "This isn't anywhere for a normal girl with good intentions." The part that broke my heart though was the almost defeated way he said "I'm in the middle of a freak show!" and the realization that he was counting himself among the 'freaks'. But like before when he commented about these cases reminding him of his own problem, I chose to play ignorant and distract him from the dark turn of thoughts with a gleeful change in subject.

By the time the two of us made it to Vickie's place we had managed to regain our equilibrium with each other, for the most part. Turns out it couldn't have come too soon. I probably shed a year or two off my life when that stupid vase exploded for no discernable reason. I tried desperately to mask the fear tingeing my voice and priming me to run as I excused it as "wind" and could have cried in relief when Nathan went along with it. Instead, I settled for moving closer to him in an attempt to gain some sort of comfort until my heart rate returned to normal. Once it did, I can't say it stayed that way long. How could it when I tapped the sketch of my partner and said partner went flying across the room? Have I mentioned yet how much I really hated that case?

***Haven***

Feeling my boyfriend reach over to take my hand, I force my thoughts back to the present. Noticing that the road is relatively straight and traffic is suitably light, I decide a long road trip is an opportunity not to be wasted. Affecting an innocent face, I smile sweetly at him. After a minute or so, he finally caves and asks "What?" smiling slightly self consciously and glancing over at me briefly. "You up for a game since we have some time to kill?"

Nathan seems to consider me for a couple of quiet minutes before smirking. "What kind of game were you thinking of playing Detective Parker?" he asks playfully.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Wournos. I was thinking something along the lines of a modified 20 questions," I chastise lightly while gently punching his shoulder.

"Modified how?" is the cautious reply and I can't help but laugh at his suspicion. You would think I was suggesting a game of Russian roulette by his tone.

"Basically, we each take turns asking questions that we both have to answer. We're living together Nathan, I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to know each other a little better while we're trapped in a car for hours on end. I'll even start," I offer with a small smile and what I hope is a tempting voice.

Glancing over at me again, I see him weighing the pros and cons of the situation. Apparently he decides to take advantage of the opportunity, because his smirk widens and he nods his consent for me to start. Now I have to rack my brain for something to ask, something I am willing to share as well. Wow, this seemed like a much better plan in theory. Ok, focus Audrey, start out simple, easy question … When Nathan starts openly chuckling at my silence, I finally manage ask, "What is your happiest memory?" The smirk slides off his face as he actually thinks about the answer and I know I should be thinking up my own answer, but I can't take my eyes off of him.

After an eternity of contemplative silence, he clears his throat and I notice him try to hide a sly smile. "When I pulled you out of that red rental car." The glare I send his way is clearly saying 'Really you won't just let that go will you?'. Smiling wanly he shakes his head and answers truthfully. "When I was five, six maybe, I remember we had this blizzard that blocked all of the roads. Dad was stuck at work, and Mom and I were trapped in the house. The storm had knocked out the power, so we spent the whole morning in the kitchen baking – just the two of us – singing anything that we could think of." The look of pure wistful joy on his face as he tells me about it makes me happy that I blurted the question out, even if I do have tears welling in my eyes.

Shaking myself out of my stupor, I manage a watery, "That sounds really nice Nathan. Don't know how I'll follow that up though." He almost seems apologetic that his happiest memory revolves around his mother when I don't have any of mine, but I won't let him apologize. I'm glad that at least one of us has good family memories. Shaking the levity from myself, I focus on finding _my _happiest memory. Finally I smile faintly as it comes to me. "My happiest memory … When I was thirteen, my best friend in the entire world was Mariah Landry. We were living in a group home – one of the better ones – and one night there was supposed to be a fireworks show at the campgrounds about four miles away, but we weren't allow to go, because really who wants to be responsible for taking twenty kids to a fireworks show? Be she had never seen one, so we snuck out of the house and walked all the way to the campgrounds. We got there just before they started and to this day I think it is the best one I have ever seen."

"Snuck out, huh? And here I thought you were a born cop. Bet you got into all kinds of trouble for that."

"Like you wouldn't believe, but it was totally worth it! Any we all have to have a little bit of rebellion Nathan. It's healthy. Heck you're still rebelling against your dad."

"It's my turn now isn't it?" he asks, not so subtly changing the subject.

"Yeah it is, what do you want to know Wournos? I'm an open book."


	8. Ain't No Sunshine

**Ain't No Sunshine**

* * *

Watching Audrey sleep in the practically empty condo that she used to live in, I can't help but think of how much both of us has changed in the time that we've known each other, not to mention the progression of our relationship. Before coming to Haven, Audrey's life was lonely and work driven – then again I suppose mine was too before she came into it. Neither of us had any real friends, for different reasons of course, but as a coping mechanism we both focused on work even more to keep from dwelling on it. It hadn't always been that way for me. Up until I stopped being able to feel, I was actually pretty popular, but even in a town like Haven, someone who cannot feel is considered a freak of nature to be avoided. Audrey on the other hand had never really had many friends. When she was younger she was never in one place long enough to make friends and as she grew up, studying and work absorbed too much of her time to allow her the luxury of friends. Seeing this place is an almost painful reminder of how empty her life had been, but it did make the packing process go a lot quicker. The only things in the whole place that belong to her are two battered bookcases that she's had forever, the multitude of books that practically bowed the shelves, the clothes in her closet (almost all business suits), one photo album, and two framed prints (Monet's _Water Lily Pond_ and Suerat's _A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte_).

***Haven***

The first time either of us really acknowledged that we were each other's only _real_ friend was during the "Dark Man" case. She had an annoying habit of dwelling on my relationship with Jess too much for my liking, so in an attempt to distract her, I pointed out that she didn't really have any friends. She then proceeded to spend the entire case making a fool of herself trying to prove me wrong – calling everyone by the wrong name and then not even making the effort to remember their actual name after I corrected her. Just look at the incident with Stan at the first crime scene. Walking up she told me his name was Steve, I corrected her, she called him Steve anyway when talking to him, I called him by his actual name, and she still called him Steve as she was walking away thanking him. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I found the whole thing entertaining every time she called people by a random name and they just let it go.

***Haven***

In her sleep she rolls into me, resting her head on my chest, and it still surprises me that while I can't feel anything else – temperature, pain, other people – I can feel her. Laying here, I can feel the weight of her head on my chest, the pressure of her arm across my stomach, and a sensation I'm sure would tickle if I could feel like a 'normal' person where her breath ghosts across my skin and her hair brushes my chin. I know, as cliché as it may seem, that she is the 'one'. That much is evident in the way that she understands me and has never treated my differently for not being able to feel; not to mention how comfortable we were with each other practically from the start. Even if I couldn't feel her, I would know, but being able to reinforces that knowledge.

***Haven***

I first really figured it out during the short time that I was dating Jess. Jess was nice and sweet, she was different, and was openly interested in me despite my numbness. But the more I was around her, I could tell that it wouldn't work in the long term. Besides I kept unconsciously comparing her to my partner. I tried to convince myself that I was simply not quite comfortable being alone with her for long because I hadn't done this since I stopped being able to feel, that I was uncomfortable with any kind of public displays (even a simple kiss on the cheek) because I am a private person. I pretended that it was completely normal to get Jess' favorite coffee, then pass it off to Audrey after only one disgusting sip. I told myself it was understandable that I was more comfortable opening up and sharing embarrassing information with Audrey than Jess, because Audrey was my partner and friend – like when I confessed to Audrey the main reason I hadn't….been past second base with Jess yet. It took all of three seconds for her to catch my drift and assure me that it wasn't that big of a deal, just go "figure it out" with Jess. Audrey just had this innate understanding of exactly what I needed without claiming to completely understand because no one else really could. When I told Jess on the other hand, she started apologizing and claimed to "understand completely" – in that moment I really wished that Audrey had been right and she hadn't said anything.

Jess seemed to pick up on there being something between Audrey and I, even before I did. I think that's why she kept showing up at the office and there was almost resentment in her voice whenever my phone rang and we were together with comments like, "It's Audrey. It's always Audrey." Later I realized there was a reason that I always answered when Audrey called, regardless of what I was doing, and it wasn't even because it could be work related or her tendency to get herself into some pretty interesting and dangerous situations – which is what I told myself at the time. It's a good thing I answered though even under the circumstances, because who knows how long Audrey and the Teagues brothers would have been stuck there had I been more inclined to ignore the phone. I have to say, the call was an interesting one – "Nathan, I need you to come to the station, come in the back door, and turn the lights _out_ before you enter a room. Oh, and I need you to hurry because the Dark Man has me trapped." – I don't think I've ever gotten dressed so fast.

After that things started going downhill fast. We found the motive behind the killings – the murder victims had stolen the chemotherapy meds from cancer patients to sell for themselves! I could tell by the look on Audrey's face that she was almost glad they were already dead and hopefully burning in a "special room in Hell for that." As if that wasn't bad enough, I got a call from Jess which had us rushing to her house, and we didn't even make it before she got hurt. That was the final straw. I hated that Audrey had been threatened by the Dark Man, but at least she was a cop, she knew the risks, and in the end, she hadn't actually gotten hurt. Jess was another story. She's a civilian who just happened to get caught up in all of this and get hurt, and while I wasn't in love with her, I did care about her. When we got our first real solid lead on a suspect, I was fired up and ready to go. Fortunately, Audrey has an amazing ability to counterbalance me in almost any situation, so while she wasn't really able to calm me much, she did take my gun and get me reasonable enough that I didn't kill anyone and was able to help her come up with a plan. After all was said and done, Thorton asked me if I was going to kill him, and honestly I might have been tempted, but I had promised my … partner – at the time I had no idea why it was so hard to label her as such. Instead, I settled for something that was, according to Audrey, more just – keeping him literally in the dark for the rest of his life so that he never had a shadow again.

When I went to see Jess, and found out that she was leaving Haven for good, it hurt. We had really just started something that I thought was pretty good and she was leaving. To make matters worse, she implied that it was my fault that she had been hurt by the Dark Man, and thus my fault she was leaving – "These things have a way of finding you." But Audrey was there full of understanding and solidarity telling me that it was ok if we didn't have anyone else, because we were each other's friend. The eye opening thing for me though, was that when she kissed my cheek, I actually felt it! How was it possible that I couldn't feel anything when I was about to have sex with Jess, but I could feel a simple, chaste kiss on the cheek from Audrey? I didn't say anything, because it was always possible that it was a fluke or my imagination, and wouldn't last, but I would always treasure that moment.

***Haven***

Audrey mumbles in her sleep pulling me back to the present, and I can't stop the smile from forming on my lips. This right here is so much better than anything I could have had with Jess, and by this time tomorrow, she will officially be finished with her life from before we met. She will officially live in Haven with me, with nothing tying her to her old life here in DC with the FBI. Glancing at the alarm clock that has yet to be packed, I note that it's 1:30 AM and I should probably get to sleep if I intend to be rested enough to make the long drive home. Hugging the woman in my arms a little tighter to me and kissing the top of her head, I close my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep.


	9. As You Were

**Author's Note**: Sorry that it has taken me so long to get this chapter posted. It was hard for me to figure out how I was gonna approach it, and when I started writing Monday night, I got about a thord of the way through and mom made me stop to help with dinner. My muse took that opportunity to flee and didn't come back until yesterday. Then adding the finishing touches and polishing it up after work tonight. Anyways, I'm still not satisfied woth this chapter - I don't think it's quite up to par - but at least it's here. Now I can concentrate on tonights episode, which should be posted much faster. Also, just a side note: Who else loves the new Justice League thing going on with Audrey, Nathan, Julia, and Duke after episode 10? Just me? Ok then, lets get on with the story.

* * *

**As You Were**

I hate not knowing what is going on because nothing good ever comes from me being left out of the loop – which I guess makes living in Haven a ridiculous idea on my part. Everyone here knows something about everyone else – or their family, or some event – and no one ever shares this information like a normal human being. Like areas on the street people don't park because 15 years ago, a little girl was in a traffic accident when someone was parked there – why not post a darn sign? There is also the matter of everyone in town seemingly knowing at least something about Lucy but only revealing – when it's convenient for them – tiny pieces of information that lead me absolutely nowhere. Among others Vaughn Carpenter, Vince Teagues, even Duke knew my mother, and none of them have ever given me a straight answer about her even after I found out they knew!

But back to my original thought … I _hate_ not knowing what's going on! I have been stuck in this bed for three days now, on top of that I have been so miserably sick that the medicine I finally broke down and took knocks me out most of the day. That's three days of living in a kind of fuzzy stupor, which kind of reminds me of my time on Carpenter's Knot. Granted, I was pretty much locked in a trunk and unconscious for the majority of our stay, but that is kind of the way I feel now – like a huge chunk of time has passed without me knowing it. Fortunately Nathan keeps me at least somewhat in the loop.

***Haven***

But back to Carpenter's knot – God have I mentioned how out of it these meds make me? Eventually I managed to piece together most of what had happened during my missing time. For a week after my birthday, Nathan would ask me questions then look at me funny when I answered. Eventually I had gotten fed up, so I pushed him on it. After a lot of prodding and being a general nuisance, he finally told me, "Its déjà vu is all. The chameleon was so 'you' that it had the exact same answers, same mannerisms. Being the calm voice of reason should have given it away though," he cracked trying to lighten the mood and divert the question he knew was coming.

"Very funny Nathan. But seriously, if it was so 'me,' how did you know that it wasn't _really_ me?" I asked a variation on the question I had asked a hundred times. I had been trying to get that answer since they revived me in that stupid trunk and I found out he had been the one to kill the chameleon. Obviously something had happened for him to figure it out since no one else had, and I know that it still bothered him on occasion that he had killed me, even if it wasn't really _me_, because he was being really weird. I guess I thought if I figured out what had happened I could maybe help him deal with it – that's what friends and partners are supposed to do right? Also, the curiosity was really starting to kill me.

If he said "I just did" one more time I might have actually screamed. Instead he studied my face in silence for a moment or two, made sure that the door to the office was closed, leaned against my desk barely an inch from me, and took my hand. Taking a deep breath, he looked to the floor and said, "I knew because … I realized … when that thing untied me, I couldn't feel it."

"But you can't feel _anything_, Nathan. I've seen you get shot without blinking. How did you _really_ know that it wasn't me?" I asked with a slight smile, more confused than teasing.

"You're right, I can't feel pain, temperatures, or anything really … but for some reason, I _can_ feel you," he was looking me dead in the eyes then, and as impossible as it was, I knew he was telling the truth.

"So … you can _feel_ me? You feel _me_?" I asked barely above a whisper, suddenly very glad that the door was closed and the blinds were drawn. He just nodded back at me with a soft half smile that made my knees weak. Shaking myself out of my stupefied state I returned to slightly more stable ground for us – sarcastic wit. "What _exactly_ were you supposed to feel from fake me anyway?" I asked with a sly smile.

"It was completely innocent Parker," he laughed at me, "well mostly," he added under his breath so quietly I almost missed it. "I didn't notice it at first, but after Eleanor had died and we were all in the den again, I noticed the chair and realized that I hadn't felt you at all when you untied me. Then I grabbed your hands just to be sure, but I couldn't feel them."

"If that's all you did, grab my hands, why did you just blush?" I asked skeptically.

"I did _not _blush. I'm a guy – a detective – I _don't_ blush."

"Whatever you say Nathan. What _else_ did you do before you shot it?"

"Imayhavekissedyou," he rushed out in a mumble.

"What was that Detective Wournos? I didn't quite catch that."

"I said … I may have kissed you," he replied before closing his eyes and preparing himself for some kind of reproof only to open them in shock a moment later as my lips contacted his.

"You mean like that?" I asked pulling away with a teasing smile and a faint blush of my own.

"No, that one was much better," he smirked leaning in for another kiss when the door swung open followed shortly by the Chief who was busy looking over a file in his hands. Fighting back the urge to groan, Nathan and I each took a half step back to put a more respectable distance between ourselves before he looked up.

***Haven***

"Audrey, babe, are you awake?" Nathan calls softly from the doorway.

Turning over to face him I smile and nod while trying to get my mind to focus on him. Rubbing my hands over my face several times and sitting up on my elbows, I manage to force the drug induced spacey-ness away for the time being. "Hey, what are you doing home so early?"

"It's already 12:30 Audrey and I told you I'd bring lunch. You hungry?" By now he has taken a seat next to me on the bed and is brandishing a takeout bag from the diner.

"I think I could probably eat," I say with a slight smile, "What did you bring me?"

Laughing, he pulls out two sandwiches – one ham and cheese and the other roast beef – setting them both on my lap for me to choose. Knowing that he really got the roast beef for himself, I take it first – just to see his reaction – but he doesn't object which makes me a little mad in my current state of health. "Don't you dare pity me Nathan Wournos! I am not so sick that I need you pity or that I can't kick your butt."

"What are you talking about Audrey?" To his credit he's not mad or even defensive, just bemusedly confused. "I would never dare to pity you. And I'm pretty sure that the last statement is a bluff. You can't even stand straight, let alone kick my butt."

"But you just let me have the roast beef? You love roast beef, maybe not as much as pancakes, but …" now I'm confused, and I hate being sick enough to need medication! There's a reason I never take anything stronger than aspirin if I can help it. Pulling myself out of the fog once again and focusing on him once more, I find him smirking obviously trying to hold in a laugh. Grabbing the ham sandwich from him, I find myself laughing at the ridiculousness of the near argument.

***Haven***

Half an hour later, Nathan is gone – the Chief called him back to the office for some ambiguous emergency – and I once again find myself drifting in a haze. Somehow, although it's probably not that much of a stretch, I find my thoughts wandering to the Chief and what I learned about him while on that creepy island (the short times I was conscious anyways). He really is proud of Nathan, not that he really ever outright says it – to anyone – but at the same time he worries about his abilities to handle the Troubles. I hope that fear has lessened some now that I plan to stick around – the times I've heard him express it was in reference to leaving Nathan to handle the troubles "by himself" and he'll have me to help now. I also learned that as much of a tough guy as he can be and as much of a pain in the ass as he is in most situations, he does have a lighter side. When I first got there and they all scared me witless, he seemed to really be enjoying himself, and I was glad that he could unwind a little. Thinking back, that might have had more to do with the hope that he would lighten up on Nathan some if he relaxed, but that was a bit of a pipedream. When he tried to be … I guess he was trying to be nice, and offered to help Nathan pick out a room I was hopeful for a full second before the supreme awkwardness descended and all I wanted to do was find somewhere else to be. I had to give it to the Chief for trying, but it was such a change coming out of nowhere that it threw Nathan off, not that I could blame him. Nathan, fantastic as he is, just does not do well with sudden change, especially when it has to do with a person's behavior – unless of course he's dealing with me, but that's something else all together.

I also remember being supremely surprised that they even bothered to throw me a party, I just wish I could have enjoyed it. Looking at the few people gathered there, I had to fight hard not to cry. For someone who had been lamenting the fact that I had only one friend a couple of weeks prior, there were a lot of people in the room. I think what surprised me more, though, was the fact that Nathan and Duke were willing to put aside their … animosity for the weekend, for _me_. Since then, I have seen them do that more and more – not that they are friends now or anything, but they are usually civil at least, when I'm around anyways. And I will always be glad that I got to spend that extra bit of time with Eleanor before she died and know that she cared for me enough to want to plan the party.

Trying to find something else to focus on – in my medically induced funk, dwelling on a friend's death can't possibly be a good idea – I notice the beautiful cashmere sweater Nathan got me for my birthday. I think it is possibly the most thoughtful, beautiful thing anyone has ever gotten me. Don't get me wrong, the dress _I_ never got to wear from Dave, the book from Vince, and the earrings from Eleanor were all great, but for some reason the sweater is my favorite. It might have something to do with the fact that Nathan almost got killed over it when it turned out Jess had bought a scarf instead without telling him. It might also have something to do with the fact that he picked it to match my eyes knowing that it would be something I wore a lot. It could also just be because it's the first real gift I got from him. Some, primarily Duke, would argue that Lucy's necklace should be my favorite gift from the birthday gone wrong, but there are just too many strings attached. I still don't know for sure what Lucy's relationship is to me, although I really wish she was my mom, and the necklace just gives me more questions than answers. I now have better evidence that she was here a while and was relatively connected to the people here, but they still hardly ever tell me about her. Even Duke just gave me the necklace, told me Lucy had given it to him and he was the boy in the picture, and then took off without a backwards glance. No, Nathan's gift is definitely my favorite.

***Haven***

What seems like seconds later, Nathan is waking me up for dinner and asking me how my day was – seriously? All I did was lay here! – before filling me in on all the good gossip from the station. I never would have pegged him as a gossip but I guess that's part of living in a small town – provided you ignore talking about anything potentially Troubles related. I guess my day wasn't that bad after all, even if I still don't like the fact that there is a lot going on that I have absolutely no clue about. Then again, what else is new?

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note:** As always feel free to let me know if you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or constructive critisism. Thanks and hope you enjoyed.


	10. The Hand You're Dealt

**Author's note:** Two quick things. 1st, This is quite a bit shorter than the last chapter so sorry about that. 2nd, I told you that this one would get posted quicker than the last. Oh, and thanks to eeryone who reviewed last chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

**The Hand You're Dealt**

Remember a while back when I said that Nathan and I have these natural roles that we fill but that we occasionally switch? Yeah, well it happened again. On our latest case it was Nathan that was sure there was something other than normal responsible for the death of our victim. I, on the other hand, looked at the evidence at hand and saw it as a simple, albeit tragic, accident. Of course he was right, yet again. He has great instincts and now that he is willing to see the supernatural he follows them far more often than when I first set foot in Haven. I just wish the Chief would see, or acknowledge, how well Nathan deals with Troubled cases. Organizing my notes to finish up the case file, I find myself thinking back on the first case we worked where Nathan was the one expecting supernatural causes.

***Haven***

It was just a couple of days after the fiasco on Carpenter's Knot, and things were weird between Nathan and me. I would find him just looking at me or invading my personal space while being very careful to avoid any actual contact and it was starting to worry me. In fact I remember asking him several times that week if he was alright and telling him that he was acting odd. On top of that, after Duke decided to reveal his knowledge of Lucy, he decided – with a lot of prompting on my part – to help me find some of the other people in the Colorado Kid picture. Needless to say, when the principal of the local high school's car blew up killing her, I was slightly more than a little distracted and was more than willing to take the fire marshal's "no foul play" (as Nathan would say) theory at face value. Nathan on the other hand, was not going to just let it go. He pushed for us to follow up the investigation because he had a gut feeling. Julia later pointed out over our weekly girls' night that from where she was standing it seemed almost like a lovers' spat when we were discussing whether or not to pursue the investigation. At the time I called her crazy; now I'm not so sure she was wrong. Either way a simple offer of coffee seemed to set us on solid ground again – well as much as Nathan's weird hovering thing allowed for us to be to begin with.

I still wasn't completely into the investigation or possibility of it being anything other than what it looked like when Duke showed up to go talk to the, what turned out to be, completely loony photographer. Still, I felt guilty leaving Nathan to follow up on all of the paperwork while I was off doing my own thing – with Duke no less. I think the only reason I ended up leaving at all was how earnest Nathan was when he told me to go; not that that left me completely guilt free. A phone call to my partner once I had dropped Duke off made me feel a lot better though, and even allowed me to laugh over the sad mental state of Crane. Then again Nathan has always had this amazing ability to make me feel better about just about anything.

I was having drinks with Julia at the Gull when we got the call later that night about Zander literally boiling to death in the community pool. As much as I hated to, I had to grudgingly admit that it wasn't normal. Add to that the fact that there was a clear connection between the two deaths that day, and I had to concede that Nathan was right to push for further investigation. I still had no idea what we were dealing with or how it was possible, but then again when do we ever understand things that early in an investigation around here. Troubles related or not, though, it would have to wait until morning, so Nathan and I came up with a plan of action for the next day, shook on it, and went home to try and get a few hours of sleep.

***Haven***

Looking to the clock, I notice that I have just enough time to run home and change before meeting up with Nathan, Julia and Duke at the Gull. Our weekly Justice League dinners, yes I admit I am a total nerd, have become one of my favorite parts of the week. For a girl that never had more than a friend or two for longer than a few months, it's really nice to have a standing weekly date with three people who have become really good friends to me if not entirely to each other. On the drive back to Nathan and my house, I find myself thinking of how our odd little group dinners first came about.

***Haven***

It was during the same case with the fire starter, who we originally thought was Duke's old babysitter Vanessa but turned out to be the troubled Matt. It was after we had put together the vague images Vanessa had been having and found the boy at the Dockside Greens. Matt, sadly, was Troubled in more ways than one. He was afflicted and had the ability to set things on fire and blow them up, but he also was one of the few afflicted people I have come across who wasn't repentant over what they had unknowingly done. He actually thought it was cool that he could be like a villain in a superhero movie. It still breaks my heart a little to think about him and the fact that I killed him. I may not have set him on fire directly, but I did cause him to get so worked up that he literally imploded. It was also my fault, regardless of what Nathan says, that Vanessa ended up dead. If I hadn't triggered her affliction in the first place by bringing up the Colorado Kid, she wouldn't have been in that field to be killed.

But if I _hadn't_ triggered her, all of those kids probably would have died that night. Moreover, she would probably never have remembered and revealed what she knew about the Colorado Kid's murder or the connection it would have to Duke's own death. That little, ok not so little, revelation is what brought the four of us together. While sitting around drinking and commiserating about the events of that night, we managed to piece it together. Duke revealed what Vanessa had told him about how he would die. That in turn reminded me that she had seen something very similar before the Colorado Kid had died. The lynch pin was provided by Nathan though, when he figured out that the tattoo on the inside of the man's forearm was the same we had found on Helena's first victim. It really shouldn't have surprised any of us sitting at that table that the Troubles were somehow innately connected to the four of us or that we would be the only ones able to, hopefully, bring an end to them, but it did. It all seemed to come back to the Colorado Kid. Vanessa had been there because of what she saw, and she saw the same fate for the boy in the picture – who just happened to be Duke. Nathan's first experience with the numbness that plagues him now began around the same time as that murder. Then there is me, who's somehow related to Lucy Ripley – the woman standing next to Duke in the picture. Finally there is Julia, who while not having a direct connection like the rest of us, is as vital to the fight we have now as Eleanor was to it the first time around.

***Haven***

By the time I reach the house, I have come to the a familiar conclusion – whatever is going on and however long it takes, we_ will_ find a way to beat the Troubles. I don't know how I would be able to deal with this day in and day out if I didn't truly believe that. Well that and the fact that the majority of these meetings of ours are less about finding the mysteriously tattooed man and more about relaxing and unwinding, helping each other shake off the Troubles for an hour or two, and giving us a brief respite of being normal people in this less than normal town. Shaking the toughts away, I make my way to the Gull to enjoy a little piece of normal.


	11. The Trial of Audrey Parker

**Author's note:** Yes I am aware that she was based out of and living in Boston, but I have already based her out of D.C. in this story for a reason, and I'll keep it that way for continuity. Also, the story goes a little AU in chapter 4 when I have her quitting the FBI after a year in Haven and dating Nathan for a while, but I kind of explain that away reasonably enough, I hope, in this chapter. Also the majority of the timeline for the story will, hopefully, match up with the show, but some of it is bound to be off.

* * *

**The Trial of Audrey Parker**

"You have got to be kidding me!" Looking up, I realize I must have said that aloud because everyone in the station is looking at me. Ignoring my staring coworkers and the few other people in the main part of the Haven police station, I make my way to my office focusing only on the paper I hold in my hands. On reaching the office, my frustration rises because Nathan isn't here. I suppose I could call him, but it's not really that big of a deal – well it wouldn't be that big of a deal under normal circumstances. Still, there is no reason to get all worked up and track my partner down since it's not like we could do anything about the situation right now anyway. Taking a calming breath I sit behind my desk and try in vain to ignore the name taunting me from the paper now sitting on my desk – Ezra Colbert.

***Haven***

It started out as an investigation masked as a night of fun. Really had I wanted a night of fun, I wouldn't have been playing poker with a couple of strangers on Duke's boat – I would have been out drinking with Julia or hanging out with Nathan (except he was still being really weird around me), or even settling down with a good book and a glass of wine in a warm bubble bath. As it was I found myself in a set up too good to be true. Duke wanting to set up a poker night and knowing (being referred to) my suspects was really far too convenient and should have spiked my danger meter. When I finally took a break from the game and saw that I had missed several calls from Nathan, I was secretly thrilled. He had been I don't know how to describe it – hovering but distant at the same time for several weeks, maybe even a month or two. So as soon as I saw his name under missed calls I called back – middle of an investigation or not if he had asked me to meet him for pancakes I would have gone – instead he warned me that Agent Howard was in Haven looking for me, and I felt my stomach somersault.

When Howard showed up behind me, I was angry that Nathan had told him where I was for all of three seconds before I remembered the number of missed calls in the past seven minutes and realized he had been trying to give me a heads up. To say I was less than pleased when my "boss" turned up would be putting it lightly. There was a reason I had been putting off checking in and sending in reports lately – besides the fact the technically I was on personal leave and as such shouldn't have had to check in at all. When Howard told me he was there to take me 'home' I felt an inexplicable desire to laugh right in his face. What did he think home was for me? Up until about two months prior, _I_ hadn't even known what 'home' was. It sure as heck wasn't a lonely apartment in a bustling city where I had no friends or even close associates nor was it a position in a company (for lack of a better word) where I was ok at my job but not really taken seriously or appreciated.

Getting locked in the stateroom on Duke's boat wasn't the highlight of my week either, especially when you factor in Howard being locked in with me and still wanting to interrogate me about what I had been doing in Haven while at the same time belittling the work I was doing and the town that I had come to think of as home. At least he didn't out right call me crazy as I told him, in as broad of terms as possible, about the difficult cases I had solved and the catch 22 of the Troubles. He did manage to tell me that I wasn't doing my job by _not_ putting the Troubled people in jail – how would he know, it's not like he had any experience with the Troubles.

***Haven***

"Hey, what's going on? Three people have told me you're in the middle of a breakdown since I walked in the front door," Nathan informs me wryly from the doorway with his signature half smirk. Instead of answer him in words, I hand him the paper that I had pulled off the fax machine … wow, fifteen minutes earlier. He scans through it quickly until he runs across the name and then goes back to read the details. I can tell that the thoughts running through my head are also running through his by the slight widening of his eyes and tightening of his jaw – sometimes I can't help but think how unfair it is that he is so much more reserved than me, if I had reacted like him I wouldn't be the talk of the station at the moment. Once he's done reading, he sets the paper back on my desk and walks around to lean against the corner of it. "This will be fun," he says sarcastically.

"Well, I don't know, it could be. I had a great time the last time I came up with a plan to catch him!" I tell him with a bright smile.

"I'm sure you did. I'm not so sure that Duke did though. And before you even suggest it – I refuse to be your puppet so that you can catch him again. Unlike Duke, I don't do 'crazy' convincingly."

"Oh, I don't know," I pretend to contemplate, "I could totally see you breaking out into the Macarena and singing Broadway tunes at the top of your lungs." The look he gives me is one of horror mixed with reluctant amusement at the mental image. Rather than answer me and get sucked into what is sure to be a ridiculous conversation, he just shakes his head and takes a seat at his own desk.

A while later, I notice that Nathan has stopped working on the pile of paperwork littering his desk and is lost in , I assume, memories brought to the surface by Ezra's escape. In a lot of ways, that case was a pivotal one for us personally and professionally.

***Haven***

That case made our partnership and friendship more secure for a couple of reasons. The first being that I quit the FBI – granted Howard didn't actually process the request for another, what has it been … five months? – showing that my intention was to stay in Haven for the foreseeable future. The second, being the resulting closeness that grew between Nathan and I after that case. We managed to work through some of the trust issues we both still had and we spent quite a bit more time really getting to know each other more than just superficially. It started out with us simply sharing what had happened from our perspective, but devolved into more personal matters. I went through the details of how I got trapped in the stateroom with Howard, all of the information he wanted, and how I escaped to contact Nathan and rescue Duke. He in turn told me how he had tried to cover for me by not telling Howard where I was (until the Chief stepped in anyway), and how he had known that I was in trouble despite what the Chief said and all of the crap that he gave Nathan about me being his "partner" not his "girlfriend". I told him how we were able to get the best of Ezra and arrest both him and Tobias, as well as how and why I quit. He told me about the Chief's attempts at bonding over dinner and the fight that they had had, though it took a good hour and a half of patient digging for him to tell me what exactly the fight had been about.

The ringing of my desk phone seems to bring us both back to our surroundings and I dash to grab the receiver, not exactly sure how long it had been ringing before I noticed it. Answering the phone, "Haven PD, Detective Parker," still makes a goofy smile hover on my face for a moment – something that Nathan has teased me mercilessly about. Jotting down a couple of quick notes, I promise to be there as soon as I can and hang up the phone, grabbing my jacket as I stand. "Well, come on Wournos, paperwork can wait. We've got us a domestic dispute to mediate … again."

"Really, the O'Reiley's are at it again? That's, what, the third time this month?"

"No it's only the second this month. You can't count the one two weeks ago. Besides, we could use the distraction for a few minutes. Maybe it'll help us come up with a plan to find and catch Ezra."

"Audrey, you know that's it's not really our problem this time _right_? He was in Bangor, which is just a little outside our jurisdiction in case you've forgotten."

"I _know_ where he was. I _also know_ that he's not considered dangerous and that he won't be a priority for the Bangor police to find. Oh, and in case you've forgotten, he's Troubled Nathan, and Troubled people tend to be drawn to Haven. I wouldn't be surprised if he turns up around here."

"Whatever you say, dear," he concedes in a teasingly patronizing way. Rolling my eyes, I lead the way out to his truck a smile on my face, once again ignoring the not so subtle attention directed my way by my coworkers. Sometimes I really do hate living a small town.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry it has taken me so long to update. I am doing the best that I can, but life is hectic right now and my muse is fickle. I will try to get the next chapter up this weekend (that's the goal anyways). Thanks for your reluctant paience and I look forward to reading what you guys think of this.


	12. Resurfacing

**AN: **Hello everyone, I'm back. Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to this story but life conspired against me. This is not the chapter I had originally planned, but that along with everything else I had been working on, is currently lost on my laptop which is dead. Anyway, Thanks for sticking around and I promise to try and update again soon. **Also a warning, I switch POV from Audrey to Nathan about half way through.**

* * *

**Resurfacing**

"Audrey, honey, just got a call about a boat washed up near the jetty," crackles the walkie thrown in my passenger seat.

Pulling to the side of the road, I sigh as I grab for it. "I'm on my way Laverne. Do you know who found it?"

"Sorry sugar, you'll have to wait and see."

"Thanks. … Oh, and see if you can reach Nathan. He should be done with his meeting in a few minutes." Swinging the car around to head back towards the water front, I can't help but hope this boat won't have a dead body on board. The last one was enough for me.

***Haven***

Pulling up alongside the patrol cars already on scene I have to fight off the sense of déjà vu trying to overwhelm me. The last time I encountered a scene like this led me to questioning everything I know about my own memories and identity. At that thought, my right foot tingles as if to remind me of the scar I have no explanation for. The scar identical to one James described Lucy Riply getting as she held him together.

"– his place in the storm."

"I'm sorry, what? Whose place? Oh, Nathan! How did the meeting go?" I asked startled out of the whirlwind of thoughts.

"I said, 'boat belongs to Jim Masten. Broke loose from the deck at his place in the storm.' You ok? You seem out of it," Nathan repeated somewhere between concerned and amused.

"Yeah, I'm – I'm fine, just thinking" I dismissed, waving off further questions until later with a my version of a patented Nathan Wournos look. "So, no human remains this time?" I asked hoping for a distractions and some levity.

"Nope. Not even a crime, just poor knotmanship."

"Knotmanship?" I repeat fighting back a smile, "You have to have made that up. That is _so not_ a real word"

He just looked at me a moment with a classic Nathan Wournos half smirk. "How can you be sure? You grew up in Ohio, I was raised in a seaside town. I think I would know if it's a real thing."

Shaking my head because there is no way I can win at the moment, I scan the scene again. A small sail ship, the Second Wind, is beached about thirty feet from the jetty with a good sized hole in the hull. Two officers and a man I assume is Mr. Masten are talking a little ways off, while another calls on his radio – probably for a tow truck of some sort. The whole thing is an accident, a result of last night's storm. Smiling I take Nathan's hand as I head back towards our parker cars. "If there's no crime and it's not Troubles related, I guess they don't need a couple of detectives hanging around just to supervise. Why don't we grab a bite at the Gull and you can tell me all about the meeting?"

"Does it have to be the Gull? Can't we get some pancakes at the diner?" It's hard to fins his pouting annoying when he looks so cute doing it, so I agree as I quickly head towards my car hiding my growing smile. There's no need to encourage the behavior, even if it is cute.

On the way to the diner I keep finding my mind straying to James and his family. I thought it was hard to not have any family at all. Then I met James and realized there are worse things.. Things like having a family and watching them but having no way to let them know that you are there, never being able to interact with them. That has to be one of the cruelest Troubles I have seen thus far. I still sometimes think that I should have done more to keep James with his family. After all, Lucy was able to stop James from disappearing the first time around.

Before I know it, I'm walking into the diner and scanning for Nathan figuring he'd have beaten me here because pancakes are at stake. I feel his hand on my back before I am even able to complete a scan of the room. The calm that immediately sets in allows me to focus on the here and now, for a while at least,

***Haven***

As soon as I saw her at the beach I knew something was wrong, but I also know pushing her would have been a waste of time, Instead I gave her a rundown of what was going on, watching her for any clues about where her mind had been.

Once we had settled at our usual table and had placed our orders she jumped right in asking about my meeting. Refraining from rolling my eyes, hopefully, I answer all her questions in my usual succinct manner, biding my time until I can get her to open up.

With the arrival of our food, the interrogation like questions about this morning's meeting doe down. Seeing her partially distracted by her food, I start my own interrogation. "So what had you so distracted at the scene?"

She shoots me a deer in the headlights look and I know she's contemplating how long she can out off this conversation and if the energy required to do so would be worth it. I simply sit back and tuck into the pancakes on my plate – she will talk when she's ready.

After releasing a long sigh, she began, "I was thinking about James and what he told me about Lucy. It was the whole boat-washed-up-on-shore thing that triggered it. It got me thinking about that case and finding James in his study. Nathan what if –"

There's no need for her to finish that sentence and she well aware of that. It's a conversation we've had many times in the past six months.

***Haven***

"Nathan what if – I mean it's possible that … I think I could …" shaking her head, Audrey closed her eyes tight and took several soothing breaths. It hurt to see her so upset, so I reached out to pull her from her chair and into my lap. After several minutes of silence she whispered, "I think I'm Lucy Ripley." As I pulled away a bit to look at her face she spoke again, a little louder, "Don't you dare tell me that it's not possible Nathan Wournos. Think about it Nathan, we could be twins! Apparently neither of us are affected by the troubles. We both have the ability to help Troubled people."

"Hey, it's not uncommon for family members to look alike, you know that. As for the Troubles – if a Trouble can be passed on genetically through a family, immunity to the Troubles can too. It doesn't mean you're Lucy."

"Nathan, we have the exact same scar on the bottom of our foot! Earlier today when I was trying to hold James together, he told me about when Lucy had done the same thing when he was younger. He broke a glass and she cut her foot on it. I have a scar in the bottom of my foot that I have no idea how I got. I don't remember ever cutting my foot Nathan – not ever."

By now Audrey was as close to tears as I had ever seen her. Rocking her gently in my embrace I tried to process everything she had just said. I could honestly say her being Lucy Ripley had never even occurred to me. She was right in that I couldn't claim outright that there was impossible that it was true. We face the impossible every day in Haven. So, instead of trying to argue with her, I said the first thing that came to mind, "I don't care who your are, you're my Audrey. Nothing is going to change that. We'll figure out the rest later. Whatever gets thrown at us, we will get thought it together. It's you and me against the world Parker, like it or not."

To my relief that brought I small, if broken, laugh from the woman in my arms. "Nathan Wournos, I do believe that is the most I have ever heard you say at one time." It wasn't that funny, but we both broke out into fits of laughter anyway.

***Haven***

"Audrey, even if you are her, I still love you. You and me, babe."

"Yeah, you're right. I know that it's ridiculous to worry about it again, it just kind of snuck up on me, you know. That's only the second time I've gotten a call like that since I came to Haven. I guess it was bound to trigger something."

"I suppose." Seeing her face lighten again, I push my luck a little more and lean across the table to give her a kiss. Public displays are not something I usually do, but if it puts a smile like that on her face …

* * *

**AN:** As usual guys, I welcome any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or constructive criticism.


End file.
